If Only
by MeyRevived2
Summary: Kurogane tries to analyse Fai only to end up analysing himself. PWP of sorts


**Disclaimer: **I don't own Tsubasa, Clamp came up with Fai and Kurogane, it's their fault not mine.

**WARNING: **this is an explicit M/M sex fic so if you are under 18, go away!

* * *

**If Only**

It would have all been much easier if only Kurogane could understand Fai. If he could predict him and imagine what the wizard might say next, what he might do, how will he react, this journey wouldn't be the roller coaster ride it turned out to be for Kurogane.

Kurogane was not the man for roller coasters, if something came from around the corner he would probably run his sword through it, not expect it impatiently like it might be something good (because it might not be!).

That was the biggest difference between him and Fai, Kurogane decided; Fai couldn't wait for surprising new things to come around and start an adventure.

Sure, Kurogane liked adventures; they were fun as long as there was some battle in them to spice them up. He just didn't like it when things were too unpredictable around him. He liked stability. Slow movements for relaxation, and fast movements for battle.

And Fai….oh….what _was_ Fai anyway! If Kurogane could answer that he wouldn't be so constantly unhappy would he?

Fai was…..a wizard….from a northern country in his world…..he lost his magic to the dimension hag….and he liked to flirt with girls (something about that irritated Kurogane too much to think normally about it but we'll get to that later)….and he liked smiling and laughing a lot….

Now _there _was the root to the problem. Fai could laugh and chuckle and giggle and joke in the absolute wrong time to do it! What made him tick, Kurogane simply did not know, and it annoyed him when he was serious and all of a sudden Fai was there laughing like a little kid about something that hadn't the slightest bit of humor in it!

It was always like that; when will Fai laugh? When will he see a joke where Kurogane can't? When on earth will he be serious for three solid minutes in a row!

It's as if Fai had one set of eyes and Kurogane had another and what one man could see, the other was completely oblivious to. It drove Kurogane mad because he didn't like being blind unless it was during training. He didn't like not knowing things and not being able to predict what's to come next.

Deep down inside Kurogane wished he could be like Fai (in _some_ senses and definitely _not_ in all) because the wizard had a lightness to him which Kurogane knew he needed.

His princess kicked him into this tornado of changing worlds and constant movement, after he was so happily perched in his room at the palace and his rank amongst the other ninjas, she must have done it because she saw something wrong in him.

Princess Tomoyo must have seen something to fix, definitely, she's so smart and clever, she must know something he doesn't. If only she'd _tell_ him what was wrong before it all started, gave him a warning, gave him a note on what he did that was wrong. But no! Everybody have to be so damned unpredictable around him don't they?

"Please wipe your feet before you enter my chamber, I've just replaced the last silk carpet you smothered with mud…."

Yeah yeah, all her remarks were like this. Kurogane leaned his elbow on his shin and leaned his chin on his open palm. 'I've just furnished this/that room with expensive things and here you go storming in like a dirt covered beast and ruin it all….oh my' that's all he heard from her before she suddenly struck him with a real personality-reader about his temper and his blood thirst and (without even consulting him) threw him into the clutches of that crazy dimension-whatever.

Yeah, look at me now Tomoyo-hime, I'm a real slime monster now!

As they entered this world, the four travelers were split up. Syaoran, Sakura and Mokona (Kurogane just had to find the gods of this world to say an honest prayer of thanks for that last member) landed somewhere far far away while he and Fai landed in a biggest pool of mud and slime Kurogane ever saw.

At first it seemed to be a sea of slime in which they struggled to swim. Fai shook off Kurogane's attempts to help him swim (how would someone swim if they were living up north where there's only ice and not water? Well, guess he does know how to swim after all) and smiled kindly, giving him a very puzzling look that made Kurogane uncomfortable and yet….well, that's for later.

At the moment, as Kurogane sat and sulked over his princess's unpredictable character, they were sitting by the bank of the huge mud pool to try and dry the black muck off of them.

It didn't help. This slime, whatever it was, it didn't dry under the sun's rays, whenever you tried to wipe it off you it gathered from around where you cleaned and re-covered you, and it did not react well to any type of herbal treatment.

Herbal treatment meant rubbing all sorts of leafs from the forest lining the pool. Why they did it? Because Kurogane knew that near every poison, every bad effect of nature, there will always be a plant that contradicts the bad effects.

Every nettle had a little forest of bushes that contained a soothing essence to neutralize the nettle's stinging effect. Because, he explained Fai, they need to grow on the ground and they can't be the victims of the nettle's poison so they developed the essence within them to contradict the sting. If you're ever stung by a nettle, he grumbled at Fai (he couldn't talk to Fai normally, not when the blond was staring at him like a comic version of a good pupil and Kurogane just _knew _he did it to irritate him!), grab the nearby bushes and plants and rub their leafs against the stung skin.

And what did he get for this good advice for life!

"Weet woo Kuro-pip! You know nature so well!"

"….." shaking with restrained anger "I told you to either learn how to whistle or not _say _it at all!"

Fai smiled at him like he always does, like he wants to look like there's nothing under that mass of blond hair.

"**And don't give me those stupid nick names!**" he was nearly screaming now, the vein in his forehead pulsing like mad.

Fai kept smiling like an idiot.

And no herbs around the forest helped with the slime and the sun began cooking the slime on them so that the dark substance began oozing the most revolting stench. They were soon wrapped in a cloud of disgusting gas.

Coughing and whizzing, Fai said he'll go look around the nearby forest for anything that might help with the slime. Kurogane couldn't say a happier "bye bye". Actually what came out was a long low grumble of sort. Fai made him sound like an animal.

Or was it this way all the time? No one ever noted him about his moods, no one dared.

"You can look a little happier you know Kurogane, this is your birthday party!"

Tomoyo-hime…she noted him about his moods…

"I can't hear you clearly when you're grumbling, talk like a sane man Kurogane"

A little girl like her had the power to make him, _him_, feel like the rebuked child…

"It would be nice to see you smile because of something other then someone you just killed"

And what were smiles for anyway? Kurogane never understood. He smiled when he won a battle, what's wrong with that? You're suppose to smile when you're happy isn't it? He's happy when he wins a battle!

Some people say that he smiles when he has someone cornered during battle, they say it's not as much as a smile as it is a gleeful sneer. If Kurogane cared enough about the various words of things (that aren't parts of weapons or definitions of battle field zones that is, in these he was an expert) he would understand what they'd say.

People smiled at each other. Kurogane never liked company, so he never learned to socialize. On the contrary, he learned how to shake people off of him, how to scare them away. All you need to do is go out to battle and return all blood smeared and not change your clothes for a few good days. People fled immediately. Kurogane liked his world empty and silent. Silence was golden.

Silence was rare newer days. If there was (god forbid) any silence around then Mokona and Fai would break it and destroy it and fill it with their mindless babbling. All Kurogane ever wanted was a bit of silence, what's wrong with that!

Actually it's Mokona who's really to blame; he's the one who's starting it over and over and over again. Fai would remain quiet when it's needed; he's an experienced enough veteran to realize that when you're silent you might hear the footsteps of your enemy as it's nearing you.

Kurogane remembered a time when Fai kept quiet because he could see Kurogane needed it.

It was nighttime and they were camped out under the most brilliant canopy of stars glittering at the width of the deepest, most breathtaking velvet dark blue sky. Kurogane planned on spending the night watching the stars and enjoy their beauty.

You'd think Kurogane wasn't a one to appreciate something beautiful? you'll be mostly right. Only _mostly _because most subtle and delicate beauty passed over Kurogane's head, completely missing the target. But when something was truly, breathtakingly, mind numbingly, amazingly beautiful Kurogane would be struck by it, enslaved by it to sit and stare and worship it.

Back to that memory. Fai came collapsing next to Kurogane. The words 'flopped down' would suit it more nicely because Fai's body was so slender and so long and so flexible that whenever one end of it moved, the other end would follow it with some kind of a wavy round movement, like he was not a human but a snake of some sort.

Kurogane gave Fai a sidelong glance and began chanting (inwardly) that Fai would not say _anything_. He waited a moment for him to say something, find that this is boring and leave him alone with his starry beauty to behold in silence.

Fai looked at Kurogane……here it comes….Kurogane already cringed in advance at the upcoming "Kuro-tan-taaaaan!"…..but nothing came. Fai's eyes just scanned him as his mouth remained shut and silent.

Then the blond turned to look out at the stars, from which Kurogane shifted his gaze only to acknowledge him, and stared at them for a good few minutes. Minutes of continuing silence.

Kurogane found that his muscles were tense as if he was about to launch into battle, he relaxed them (with much suspicious, might the wizard sense he's relaxing and find that time for his annoying squeals) and returned his full attention to the stars above.

He couldn't keep it up for long because soon after his relaxation, a plague of thoughts about Fai hit him. Why was he suddenly so quiet? Why was he lying down so closely to him? Why was he looking at him like that before? Why…..was he behaving like…he was being respectful to his needs? Could he be respectful to his need for silence?

He never was respectful or grateful for anything Kurogane ever did! He didn't respect his wish not to be called in stupid nick names, he didn't respect his wish to stop that verbal whistling of his, and he didn't respect his wish to not be Mokona's babysitter all the time. So when did he suddenly start being respectful to his wishes?

Oh well. Right now, with this breathtaking sight of stars above, now when his wish is for silence, Fai respected him and remained silent. Kurogane would thank him later…..grumble a thanks that is.

But the stars seemed to dim suddenly and lose their immense beauty, as if bowing down before a greater beautify about to come. Kurogane turned to Fai to see if the wizard noted it too and discovered to what the stars bowed.

Suddenly, lit by the silver rays still coming from the moon and the stars, Fai was the most beautiful thing Kurogane'd ever seen in his life. His hair became silvery-white, his eyes glittered in the prettiest light blue Kurogane ever saw (even prettier then Tomoyo-hime's prettiest sapphires), his skin seemed pure white in the light. His arms were stretched and tucked under his head, so long and slim, deceiving with their frail appearance. The silver light shone down on the long, erotic neck.

Kurogane stared at him for a long time before he realized Fai might notice it and start something funny.

Start what? What did _he_ want to start? Kurogane closed his eyes and tapped into himself, concentrating on going within and touching that one true spot of his real essence. It was a thing for training really; once you've studied the arts of war enough and yet you're unsure of your next move you must close your eyes and concentrate on the warrior within, his decisions are always right.

Deep within him Kurogane wanted to roll over above Fai and capture his lips with a kiss. He'll place his arms on both the wizard's sides to block his escape and lean down and kiss him. Hard, until Fai won't be able to breath.

Kurogane snapped his eyes open and the world was spinning around him.

In his country, in _his_ Japan, there were stories of such things happening all the time. The fair faced newly recruited ninja who could make his sword dance, meets with the rough mannered sempai who fought with the might and manners of a wild bear.

Love would flourish, sure, and love making would accrue as well (although the stories that Tomoyo-hime liked to hear got more _descriptive_ in these parts then the stories the men would tell). But there was always something to end the story in an ugly way; always a battle separating the two lovers, always an angry commander sending one of them to be in the front like of the war and be killed first.

Tomoyo-hime didn't like it, she said it's a sad ending and that if it were ever to happen in real life she'll call the two ninjas over to her personal guard so that they will be away from harm and together forever. She told Kurogane to look for any in the army and Kurogane had such a fit over it she relieved him from the duty in a heap of giggles.

What do the stories have with this now? They're not ninjas, not Fai anyway, and there isn't a war although they somehow gained at least one enemy between the dimensions.

Kurogane recalled those stories to remember that such things as wanting to kiss a man if you're a man yourself existed. He knew that himself. Only these stories served to warn anyone who might try it, that their love will indeed be a very pure thing but it will end too soon. Tomoyo-hime could whine about romance and fairness as much as she liked but in the end the stories who were more ancient then her contained a concentrated truth and everybody knew it.

But was the truth really that the pure thing must end painfully?

Kurogane closed his eyes (he was rather tired and nearing sleep so this shut eye served more as a rest then a means to concentrate) and brought the image he brewed before him again.

Will Fai's lips be soft? Will they be slippery? (Fai seemed so sleek, Kurogane couldn't help wondering if he was _actually_ sleek) will he give in to the kiss or shove him off, cursing and angry? (Was Fai even capable of cursing? Was he capable of being genuinely angry?) Will his body feel frail and small under him? Will Fai be hard as he is right now?

Kurogane shook himself, shot to his feet and fled. Kurogane _NEVER _fled from anything!

So what was it about Fai that made him flee at the beginning of a purely sexual thought?

"Kurogane…..have you ever kissed anyone?"

Tomoyo-hime. She was 14 when she asked that and was only beginning to discover what love and romance is. He was 18 and in the illusion that he was a fully grown, hormone free, man.

He blinked at her like a dumb cow. She giggled.

He never did. Not at that time that is. But he did make love afterwards….

well…a meeting with an 'extremely friendly and open minded hostess' in a 'tea house with a lot of convenient rooms for extra privacy during your…tea ceremony' you couldn't call that love making could you? Not without lying to yourself. And everyone in his squad went so he came along and there was this beautiful 'hostess' with the longest, thinnest, most erotic neck Kurogane ever saw and he nearly jumped on her and dragged her to their room.

What was the kissing like? Kurogane couldn't remember, by the time he'd seen her he already emptied half a bottle of sake (he was always very good with alcohol even if he didn't drink a lot in his life and wasn't supposed to be so immune but, even for his strength, half a bottle was enough) and he didn't linger on her lips for very long because he was mostly nibbling down her neck.

What was the sex like? Smooth and slimy and quick. Quick is possibly the best way to describe it really, it was over and done with in five minutes, six tops, removing clothes and 'foreplay' included. Kurogane's interest in the girl disappeared as soon as she re-dressed. He went down back to the main room where the rest of his comrades were without much fuss about what he just did. No matter how much they praised him and tried to pry about the girl and what they did and how she looks under that fancy kimono and what did she do to him, Kurogane remained silent giving only a random "It was nice, it was sex, what more could it be?"

What more could it be? It's just sex and with some random girl with a flower for a name like all the hostesses so why would it be an exception?

When he went back to Tomoyo-hime and told her that he kissed and that he had sex she seemed unchanged by the knowledge, uncaring.

He glared at her "….Well, does it answer your question?" he grumbled, prepared to defend himself in case she will attack him verbally as she did too often.

But she just ran her eyes over him (she was 15 and a half by then) and shrugged. Then she smiled the kindest smile he ever saw coming from her and said "You'll know one day"

"Know what?" he was counterattacking though he was not really charged at in honest.

"Know what true love making is" she said, her smile turning mysterious.

"And how would a fifteen year old know what true love making is?"

That took her by surprise and for a while she remained silent. What did she know that he didn't?

Then the kind smile returned, leaving room for the mysterious one only at the very edges of her small lips. "I know more then you because I kept my mind open to it's notion all this time"

Kurogane stared and blinked again, without an answer to defend himself with. Here he was, a little shorter on cash because he had to pay quite a bit for his part of the tea house party, and still he was without an answer, still blinded to something apparently crucial. Kurogane hated being blind to something important.

Then there was Sitra, Sitra Akhra who came to be useful to the princess from the deserts to the far west. She was caramel skinned and slim and beautiful. She had bright blazing eyes and long black hair that curled madly. She came in long, sand laden, sun scorched, flowing black dresses with multiple layers. She walked on the thinnest sandals ever, made from the skin of the local animals in her sandy land. She had a rough low voice, croaked a little from days of walking under the sun without a drop of water, from calling out to her flock animals and her men, from the strange "hookah" she smoked. She came from a tribe of desert nomads. She practiced the dark arts of magic they control in her land. She was mysterious and evil and constantly observing and constantly prowling on someone.

She lured him into her room one night, making him follow the scent of some heavy perfume. It wasn't a good scent she lured him in with. What her people considered good smelling was a heavy blow of charged odors, so jam-packed together it was disgusting to smell. Kurogane folowed the scent to reprimand her for this stench.

As he walked into her room he saw her dancing to the rhythm of music three musicians she brought with her played.

There was a flute and a very powerful drum that made a sharp tapping thump as the man stroke his fingers on it and there was a kind of a violin (it's the only way Kurogane could describe it even if it was more of a table then a violin and it wasn't held in a man's lap, more like bent it's player over it like a chess board but the sound was violin-like). Kurogane could compliment the music only for the strange drum, so sharp and true it was, not heartbeat really (heartbeat was more dimmer in sound, deeper), but so matching, it connected to his deepest sense of rhythm like no other type of drum ever did (except for the huge gong's chiming, signaling the men to gather in rows and prepare to head out for battle).

She danced to this rhythm, Sitra did, she swirled her body and shook it and jerked from one spot to another on the thick heavily ornamented carpet she brought with her, her feet bare expect for the string like jewels she wrapped around her ankles and the middle toe of each foot.

It weren't just her ankles who were wrapped in this line of stringed beads and diamonds. She was bare mostly, strips of fabric covering her breasts and pelvis but nothing more. Nothing more to actually block the sight of her bronze skin that is, because above these miniature covering she was wrapped in seven different layers of scarves, all so thin they really covered nothing from Kurogane's eyes. The strings of sparkling beads wrapped around her left shin right at it's middle. Another string circled her lower abdomen a little above the start of her loincloth. A snake of a string wrapped around her right arm as if it's climbing up to her shoulder. A long string dangled from her neck, a circle of it wrapping her long neck tightly.

Kurogane was transfixed on this sight from another culture. It was nothing like he ever saw, this dancing, nothing like he ever heard, the music in his ears.

He didn't know it but he stepped right into the room, the door closed and locked behind him by her bodyguard.

She swung her hips erratically to the rhythm, without a real pattern or meaning. She shook her shoulders until her ample breasts danced from side to side provocatively. She leaned back and forth the as she did it, giving him an eyeful of her hardly covered chest. She drew circles with her pelvis so that her round, abundant rear made it's existence quite well known. She sent her arms to her sides, drawing them upwards with long erratic circling movements as if she's trying to untangle herself from something. Every now and then she'd remove one of those pointless scarves until she was almost completely naked.

This might sound exotic to anyone with a more open mind for foreign cultures but to Kurogane it was evil magic. That's what she did, black magic, so this must be a spell of some sort. And why was her bodyguard here? Why did he lock the door behind him?

Sitra moved closer to him until she brushed across his body with every movement of hers. It was erotic, yes; of course, Kurogane would be blind if it weren't. But it wasn't….special….Kurogane can't find the word to describe what he _did_ want it to be as he looks back at it now.

She wrapped her arms around him and closed her lips on his. Her musicians withdrew behind one of her many log curtains as she walked him to her large bed.

It was over within minutes, again, and made Kurogane no wiser or better in any sense besides the usual lukewarm water sensation of post-orgasm relaxation.

As he turned his back to dress himself she sent a dagger flying at him, which he blocked easily. He spun it and flung it at her, hitting her between her high-set breasts. Her bodyguard came charging at him. Kurogane disposed of him in less time then the sex took.

He walked over to Tomoyo-hime's room, still covered in sweat and semen and blood and only his trousers. He glared at her "I made love with Sitra, as she tempted me to. Then she tried to kill me and I killed her and her bodyguard"

Tomoyo-hime needed a good few minutes to recover from the shock of his appearance at such a late hour (and from the shock of his appearance in general, in the state that he was in).

As soon as she recovered she shook her head and shrugged helplessly (she was nearing her 17th birthday at the time, despite her petite build making her look like a 14 year old forever). "You conquered her" she said, out of breath with exasperation "She seduced you, yes, but the actual act was of conquering, not love making" she shook her head again like a strict teacher might do at a child who got a stinging 'F' in his latest test.

Kurogane shook with anger "Then" he growled, simmering within "what _is_ this 'love making' you keep babbling about!"

Tomoyo-hime smiled her little mysterious smile though her eyes did not mock him the way they do when she's smiling like that. She played with the pendant on her necklace, close to the skin of her neck, and she looked far away from her room. "You'll know one day, when you'll meet someone you'll love. When you'll have sex with them _then_ you'll be making love"

Kurogane calmed his breathing. She started talking in big words now and it all sounded like gibberish to him.

"When you'll love someone and that someone will love you back and you'll have sex, _then _you'll be making love" she shot her eyes to him and suddenly she seemed twice her age. A passing thought came into Kurogane that _now_ she might know what she's talking about.

Love? What did Kurogane love?

His sword, his shield-like uniform when they were well oiled and shiny and every plate moved with the others like the scales on a snake. He loved…..the pork dishes the third barrack's chef came up with. He loved….delicate flute playing (Japanese flute, not that shrilling noise Sitra's musicians played) at the background of Tomoyo-hime's private garden in a spring's afternoon as the cherry trees rained down blood soaked pink petals That was the type of complete and perfect beauty that Kurogane could acknowledge and worship. There's a picture the palace's head artists drew, of him standing in full arms at the midst of this typically Japanese garden, he would have hung it in his room if he wasa little more full of himself.

All those he loved but he never loved any_one_, people weren't his specialty really.

Were there those who loved him? Maybe. Kurogane's sensitivity for other's emotions was too blunt to pick emotions such as these from people's behavior.

There was one person Kurogane just _knew_ who loved him. Kano Bandai.

Like in those ancient stories, exactly like those ancient stories. Kano-kun was so good with the sword that many who fought him never literally _saw_ what hit them. He beat every barrack commander, he beat the head general (who merely laughed saying he's spent too many years in the strategy-planning room and had gotten fat looking at maps instead of swords and was starting to get rusty).

He never beat Kurogane. They'd start fighting and soon enough Kano-kun was on the floor, fighting like a frightened maiden who happened to grab a sword in hand. And when they fought Bandai-kun's mauve eyes would flare up with such a pitiful look of 'please have mercy on me' that Kurogane simply couldn't find the strength within him to really hurt the man.

Bandai-kun was slender and short and very, _very _much like a woman. He had the most delicate effeminate features ever placed on a man's face. His face hardly needed a shave though his hair grew so long it needed knotting and double knotting into a ball from which the black silk cascaded as low as to the middle of his shins. He had a long slender neck and soft rosy lips.

Kurogane knew they were soft because he tested them as soon as he realized Bandai-kun's emotions towards him. He took him inside the armory shed, the smell of the oil covering the wooden walls to keep the moisture from rusting the swords and axes filling his nostrils as he pushed Bandai-kun's frail frame against the wall and pushed himself deep into the youth. It took longer then five minutes, it took maybe ten and often Kurogane found it hard to concentrate with the sounds of metal rattling and Bandai-kun's whimpering and moaning and the sight of Bandai-kun's face flushed in absolute ecstasy.

But it meant nothing to him but a quick skipping of his heart whenever Bandai-kun would shoot a sly glance at him at roll-call, when he brushed past him in his barrack's corridor and rubbed their bodies together intentionally, when he kissed him slowly and when he closed those rosy lips around his manhood.

Just like in the ancient stories, destiny soon claimed Bandai-kun. When the enemy's troops marched into Bandai-kun's village they whipped his family off, killing his best neighbor (who was hi best childhood friend), raping his friend's sister (who was also his friend) the two's mother, and his own mother before slaying them. Bandai-kun was sent back home to try and help re-build his dismembered family and never returned. His suicide letter came two days after he had left, he was still on the road but when he arrived home he kept it's promise.

Kurogane didn't find it irritating that the letter wasn't shown to him despite the fact that half the palace's squad knew of what happened between them. By the time they did think of showing it to him he has already grown careless.

He walked up to Tomoyo-hime's room and confessed his deeds with his kohai.

She looked at him long and hard (she was nearing her 18th birthday now and still she seemed like nothing but an innocent child!) before bursting into tears. "How can you be so cold Kurogane?" she wailed "He died and you feel nothing!"

He told her of his heart skipping.

She raised her tear-filled eyes to him and smiled kindly "Well then, maybe there is hope for you".

Still hope for him…what hope? When he wants to kiss someone, actually _wants_ out of his own free will and not because his princess told him to try and have sex with someone who loves him, only to end up running away from that man as if he was danger?

Fai _was_ danger. Fai was lenient and calm and cool and often too laid back to note dangers in the right time. He trusted Seishiro-san far too much and practically _allowed_ the man to kill him. If he will become too intertwined with Fai will he be infected by his careless calm?

Kurogane began chewing down on a long grass shoot. He would cover his nose with his cape to shield it from the awful stench if it weren't for the cape being covered by the slime as everything else on him.

He began wondering about where Sakura and Syaoran were when a long shrill came from the forest behind him "KUROOOOOOOOO-PEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"

There was nothing Kurogane could do to soften the low throated gurgling growl as a response to it.

Fai burst out of the forest, grabbing his hand and yanking him to his feet with strength Kurogane would never have attached to such a slim body. Fai was covered in a mixture of golden transparent oily liquid and the slime, all smeared together from chest down.

"What the hell happened to you!" Kurogane managed to mumble as the wizard dragged him deeper into the forest. For some reason, his long hard thinking made his tone softer as he grumbled at Fai.

"You were right Kuro-sama!" Fai chirped (Kurogane simply couldn't be angry when he was referred to this way, even if Fai didn't say his name fully) "there's another slime pool and what do you know, right next to it there's another pool of this golden oil thing and when you dip yourself into the oil it removes the slime! Look!"

Fai snapped his arm at Kurogane and sure enough, where once was the slime now the golden substance was covering it, eating it as it seems. Kurogane blinked at this strange phenomenon. No oil in his world ever did that, sure, oil removed rust and that was common knowledge to anyone who ever had to keep his weapons clean, but that the oil actually _ate _the slime, well…..this is exactly what the dimension hag babbled about; the immense difference between all the worlds out there.

By then they arrived at the two pools, one dark grey and slimy and the other golden and shimmering in the sun's rays.

Without a moment to lose, Kurogane began removing his clothes, leaving himself in his traditional thong like underwear, and began washing the slime off his clothes. At first the oil allowed the slime to spread through it like dirt in clear water, and then suddenly it contracted and began _consuming_ the black substance.

"I….is it healthy for us to dip in this? I mean, it looks so _alive_ when it's cleaning out the dirt" Kurogane eyed the pool suspiciously. It reminded him of one of Tomoyo-hime's cats who would hunt a bird like the meanest thing out there, devour the helpless thing then look up at you with the most innocent and pure pair of eyes ever.

Fai didn't answer him.

Kurogane turned around to see Fai was staring at his hardly covered body. If he would have a little less control over his body's reactions Kurogane would have blushed fiercely by now. "What!" he grumbled instead.

This is the typical situation in which Fai's doing something and Kurogane simply can not comprehend what the wizard is doing, what his expression means. If he could see something that isn't a deep soul searching stare in Fai's eyes he would know how to react. But Fai was just staring at him, unmoving and unchanging.

Then the blond snapped out of his mood like Fai often does and threw himself right into one of those annoying energetic moods, swinging his arms upward and taking leaping steps with his long thin legs. He threw his clothes off (completely! Kurogane shot his eyes away faster then he knew he could and this time he couldn't fight the blush rushing to his cheeks) and leaped into the oily pool. He began taking long scoops of the oil and rubbing his body with them. The slime managed to seep through their clothes as they tried to figure out a cure for it and both of them were pretty much mudded under their clothes by now.

Shrugging and hissing, Kurogane walked over to the pool and slid in, finding the oozy substance quite nice on his skin. He had a few scratches and slits from a minor battle in the word prior to this one and it seemed that the oil was working some kind of a healing effect onto them. It was quite pleasurable, the feeling of sleek warmth sliding against his skin all over, treating his wounds with a kind touch after the dark slime made them sting and sore.

"Take your underwear off Kuro-tin" came the annoying shrill that ripped Kurogane out of the pleasant relaxation the oil soothed down on him.

He turned his head, heavy with boiling blood and mounting anger, to the wizard and roared a "**_WHAT!_**"

Fai merely beamed one of those innocent smiles that made his cheeks close his eyes in delight and chirped "This slime clings to hair quite powerfully and the underwear are only blocking the oil from getting to that particular batch" and with those words, as if it was the most casual thing to do around your travel companion, Fai rubbed lazily at his pubic hair.

Kurogane's eyes shot (uncontrollably that is, under their own free will and without asking permission from his brain) to where Fai's hand was just before he shot himself to the other end of the pool so fast he made the oil splash out.

He stood there, shaking with immense anger begging to burst out, with his back to Fai, his temples beating like two mad drums, his heart pounding to their rhythm, his nose bleeding, his hands shaking.

The fact that Fai was right and that by now Kurogane was too uncomfortable by the slime down there as to be forced to remove his last line of defense only made the whole situation far more difficult to deal with.

"Don't……" is all he managed to whimper as a response. And it came five minutes later after Kurogane gathered enough of his wits to recover and sound coherent and sane.

It didn't help when Kurogane felt two long slim hands rubbing his back in long circular motions. He started shaking again, only with excitement this time; his groin was in pain begging, for release. He clawed at the earth on the rims of the pool, gathering two tight balls of dirt in his fists.

"Wh…..why are you touching me?" his voice came out surprisingly clear and calm, despite the roaring storm within him.

"I'm helping you wash your back where you can't reach the slime" Fai chirped back, completely oblivious to his companion's behavior.

"I'm expecting the same from you" Kurogane would have yelled at him to forget about it if it weren't for Fai's absolutely innocent and clear-of- trickery tone.

"F…..fine…." and thank the gods Fai didn't start teasing him about the reason for his stammering.

"My, Kuro-sama, how did you get all those muscles?" the wizard's hands were now circling Kurogane's broad shoulders (places Kurogane could definitely reach by the way).

"I trained a lot" again, his voice was calm and cool despite the fact that his head and his penis were hurting so much he was considering screaming about it. "In the mountains" he said instead, trying to focus on anything but Fai's touches.

But how could he? The blond's hands were so smooth and gentle as they touched him, the oil only adding to the general pleasurable sensation. And he was giving him a bit of a massage as well, to top it all. For a fleeting moment Kurogane was tempted to lean back into the touch, close his eyes and relax with the smooth sensation.

But his erection was demanding too much attention. He wondered if semen would be considered as dirt by the golden oil, or would it float around on the surface, traveling merrily into Fai's eye range. He could just picture the blond staring puzzled at the small white pool traveling happily around the pond like a lazy vacationer in his hotel's swimming pool, slowly sailing past the wizard. Kurogane shook the thought away.

"Now it's your turn" came Fai's chirp, ripping Kurogane out of his little comic relief.

"Huh?"

"Help me clean up, I'm not as flexible as I seem and I can't reach most of my back" innocent, without the slightest hint of maliciousness in his tone.

Then again when was Fai ever easy to read? He might seem innocent _now_ but it can change like the wind's whims, flipping to something sneaky without giving Kurogane a chance to read any upcoming danger.

Kurogane looked across his shoulder and noted Fai already turned his back to him, awaiting his treatment.

Now was a good chance to dispense some of this tension and clear his head. "Wait a minute" he mumbled before he grabbed his sex and began pumping it with short, efficient jerks.

A flood of ideas gushed into his mind as his needs were answered. he closed his eyes and gave into them, concentrating on ending his climax as soon as possible.

Fai against the scented wall in the armory. Drawn in so many details it was real.

Kurogane's head spun so hard he almost lost balance. And he was there, over the edge, pounding with such a powerful ecstasy as he's never experienced before.

When it was over he leaned against the bank of the pond, fighting to calm his breath without a sound to rouse Fai's suspicion.

He looked down at himself and noted that he was still hard, as if expecting seconds. Not.

Finally in full control over himself (almost), Kurogane spun around and padded his way over to where Fai leaned against the bank casually awaiting his turn.

With shaking hands (he began loosing control over his body again, damn it!) Kurogane gathered oil in his palms and began rubbing the slim off of Fai with the same long circular motions applied to him.

Kurogane was never very good at words, actions were his territory. He never liked to say "sorry", "please", "thanks" so he always found ways to express what was on his mind with actions.

Now he was doing his best to say "thanks…" as he tried to imitate Fai's pleasant cleansing as best he could. He added a few muscle relaxing massage techniques he learnt back in his world, producing long delighted moans from Fai.

Ah, the moans. Kurogane could stay sane if only Fai didn't moan. If he didn't lean into Kurogane's touch, if he didn't throw an adoring glance at him over his shoulder, if he wouldn't smile so mysteriously. Fai seemed like that cat of Tomoyo-hime's, rubbing against you whenever you patted it to draw you into a full blown grooming session.

The tension in his loins was back and soon Kurogane found that it was both impossible to keep touching Fai, yet equally impossible to stop. Fai's skin was so smooth and silky, creamy white where the oil did not touch it and pale gold under the pond's surface. Kurogane wanted to embrace him, rub against him, choke him with a kiss, and ravish his neck with nibbles.

He didn't run away at the notion this time, this time he simply clung to Fai's arms like it was a raft at the widths of a violent storm in the sea.

"What's wrong Kurogane?" Fai turned a worried glance at him.

His heart skipped when the bright blue eyes lay on him. He was, perhaps, in love with Fai and simply didn't know that's how love feels like for him. Perhaps he loved Bandai-kun too….but Kurogane never wanted to think about that, he wanted to think about Fai.

The wizard now turned to him and stared up into his face, the purest concerned look in his perfect sapphire orbs (and thank god he was looking into his _eyes_ and not lower!) "Are you alright?"

Fai was concerned about him, and respected him enough to imagine what might have made him grab him like that enough to not tease him and call him with those nick names he hated so much.

Perhaps…..this was what love is for Fai, this is how he shows it….

"To make love" Tomoyo-hime's voice rang in Kurogane's head "is to have sex with someone that you love and that loves you back.

Kurogane wanted to make love to Fai.

He grabbed his shoulder once again, a little easier this time after noting that his last grab left long red marks on the delicate white skin, and stared hard into Fai's eyes.

Suddenly there seemed to be a huge abyss stretching in the space between Kurogane's lips and Fai's. It was as if some power was keeping his muscles from bending down and capturing those lips with his. What was it?

It was his fear of Fai shoving him away and screaming at him, his fear of denial and anger from Fai. He was afraid that he might be drawing the wrong conclusions. He was also afraid of what was to come in the future might Fai accept his kiss, what if their pure thing turn out to be like in those ancient stories, like the one he had with Bandai-kun?

No, NO! This is another world, another set of rules! That…curse over such relationships, surely it must have stayed behind when he was thrown into the dimension hag's world. Surely…..maybe…..he doesn't care!

He shook those thoughts out, giving in to his pounding heart and his aching manhood. He fought his fear and slight paralysis and bend down to close the gap between him and Fai.

The moment their lips touched Kurogane found himself violently pulled into a whirlpool of emotions, needs and sensations. He was hungry for Fai, every inch of the man's skin, hungry for the sensation of his lithe body around his sex. He plunged his tongue deep into the wizard's willing mouth, taking everything offered to him.

He clawed at Fai's shoulders until the man motioned him he was in pain and removed his palms only to replace them on his rear, pressing against Kurogane as if pushed into it.

He broke their kiss, planting short stabbing kisses down Fai's jaw line down to that desired long neck. It seemed to be melting his lover into a willing lump as he nibbled and kissed randomly, grazing his teeth gently against the perfect skin.

He was rubbing against Fai uncontrollably, thrusting at the lithe body with blind passion. They both gasped as the wild movements send both their erections rubbing together. For a few minutes they were trapped like that; their eyes shut tight, their arms locking them together, their length rubbing against each other deep in the oily pond. They were making a racket, one whimpering and moaning while the other took sharp gasps and break out with a hoarse moan from time to time.

Without a thought for what else they might do, they stayed locked in this erratic embrace until, in a matter of breathless minutes, they reached their climax, both almost screaming into the serene woods around.

Kurogane found himself hugging Fai so powerfully he was tapped on the shoulder gently, the blond glued to his chest mumbling a smothered attempt to remind him of his need of air. He only loosened his embrace a little, keeping Fai firmly trapped in his arms.

The wizard seemed oblivious to Kurogane's metaphor for this. He didn't feel like someone trapped at all. He snuggled deep into the embrace, still rubbing against Kurogane to gain whatever pleasure that still lay between them.

Maybe it was the fact that, now when he was honest with himself as he looked back at their time together, Kurogane realized he gave vent to passion charged within him for a very long time and it was so strong that this release was not enough. Maybe it was the absolutely perfect way in which Fai danced along with him, moved in complete unison that made Kurogane want to do it once more. And maybe it was some super-healing, super-refreshing, super-reviving substance in the oil that made both of them ready for another round, mere minutes after their climax.

Fai was the first to show his needs. He sent his long slim forefinger traveling in circles across Kurogane's strong torso, the most pleased look in his bright eyes "You're such a man Kurog-sama" he purred. He leaned forward, closing his eyes gently, and sent his tongue in circles around Kurogane's left nipple.

The ninja nearly leaped out of his skin with the sudden, almost electric, sensation. His breath came out heavy and hoarse through his open mouth, as if he was in the width of heavy exercise. Fai moved to the second nipple, his arms traveling greedily over the powerful muscles of Kurogane's back.

All Kurogane could do was to gently claw at the soft of Fai's back, suddenly feeling terribly big and terribly clumsy with this gentle being between his arms. The tongue was driving him mad, drawing bright white circles before his eyes suddenly blinded by pleasure.

Fai caught him with a kiss and erased every though from his feverish mind. Kurogane sank into it willingly, feeling his body suddenly lighten up, losing all it's immensely charged tension. His palm traveled between the petite cheeks of Fai's behind, parting them in search for his entering. Pulling knowledge from times so far away from him at the moment that the memory was but a dim idea in this completely different surrounding, he pushed his forefinger into Fai.

The blond's hands clawed at his back suddenly, a gentle gasp of a whimper escaping his slim soft lips. Now his breath was heavy and his head spun as another finger was pressed into him, spreading Technicolor stars before his eyes. He cried once more, begging Kurogane to "Do it, oh gods, do it now!"

Kurogane turned Fai around, pushing him gently against the bank of the pool. He reached out and wrapped his left palm around the blond's sex, his right palm taking himself and replacing the fingers within Fai's tight inviting warmth.

They rocked together, sending long ripples through the pond. Their voices came tangled together as they echoed from the woods around them; Fai's exhaling whimpers, Kurogane's hoarse moans.

Kurogane wrapped his free arm around the lithe body, sinking his teeth gently into that long neck that snatched the sleep away from him during so many long agonizing nights. The silky golden hair smoothed across his cheek as they moved against each other rhythmically.

This time it lasted longer, this blissful union. Perhaps it was Kurogane's earlier climaxes; maybe it was his sheer will.

A mantra went through his head as he rocked back and forth "I want this to be longer, I want this to never end. Never end never end, never end, never end"

When orgasm finally came he was repeating Fai's name into the smooth soft skin of the blond's neck.

Fai was shaking by his time. The old trees surrounding them never reflected louder calls in all their days, in the haze of sensations it came out "Kur-ah! Kur-aaaah!".

They stayed this way, connected, slowly letting the oil relax their muscles. The warmth the oozy substance gathered from the sun now beamed into them.

Reluctantly they untangled and climbed ashore to lie on the grass and catch their breaths in each other's arms.

A drowsy sleep spread itself like oil in Kurogane's mind fought only by the disturbing though that he still did not come to any conclusions as for the core of Fai's personality, he still knew nothing of what the man might do in any given moment. For now, he hoped that no energy fit will tare his lover away from him into another merry dancing or babbling like before. He wished this calm to never end.

But it did end. As soon as they heard Syaoran's first yelping of their names from the depth of the woods around them.

Mokona leaped ahead of them and caught sight of the two men dressing themselves, still slightly slippery from the oil on their skin. The round creature blinked at them, caught off guard by something he couldn't quite react to as he usually does.

Before it could say anything to annoy Kurogane, Fai bend down and gathered the soft white ball into his arms. He placed his now fully gloved finger on Mokona's mouth, whispered "it's a s-e-c-r-e-t" and flashed a wink.

The soft long smile on the wizard's beautiful face and the way his eyes suddenly seemed calm and stable filled Kurogane with hope that maybe he managed to either learn enough of Fai's personality to make it understandable for him or that maybe he managed to put some calm into Fai's behavior.

As they began their exploration of the forest, in their never ending search of a mysterious source of power that suddenly burst into this world, Kurogane was deep in thought.

He pictured in his mind the day when they'll find their way to his home world and he'll walk up to Tomoyo-hime's room and tell her about this. Then she'll smile at him and say that finally he made love to someone. Then he'll stay there in his world….

Stay there….as he said he would, as he paid with his precious sword to do….but will Fai stay with him? This man he had sex with and loved and who loved him back?

Thinking about it only made him worry. He didn't know. He hated not knowing, he hated things that were unpredictable.

If only he could understand Fai…

(end)


End file.
